Wow! This is hard, there is a change that is coming in finding the “Real Me”. The other day I posted a blog called “What does it mean?”
I am on this journey trying to find the “real me” Who is locked up or yet lost in side of me as a child of God or yet lost sheep.
One of the questions I have asked ” Do they want to find that person?” To asnwer that question yes, there needs to be some changes for that to happen. It isn’t going to easy, it is going to be scary. Because right now I am so mixed up on what is the truth and what isn’t the truth. Whom to belive, how much to say and what not to say ect.
Trying to find this person by pulling her off the fence and out of the darkness there are going to be some cuts,and few bumps along the way.
That one needs to do is
I know that I need to put my full Armor of God on…and I know that He will keep me safe but I need to understand that to have FAITH that he will. That is were I am lacking in that area is FAITH, HOPE, TRUST. Just to let it go of living on the fence because it isn’t doing me any good.
Yesterday I spilled more beans that needed to be spilled in good kind of spilling. No one got hurt but eyes and heart was open more.
I had this fire that was burning inside of me for a long time, but the fire was geting smaller and smaller, then one day it went poof it was put out. Never to be started again,and I thought it was gone forever. This New sister in christ and God who has worked threw her to light that fire again,each time I am in that area the fire get’s little bigger.
I have been lission more to christian muisc, praying little more,reading bible little more,and because of that I may have found my bounce back, whistling, and singing christian songs that I don’t know all the songs to. I hope this last long time and keeps growing.
I am leaving in few days,but be back in 15 days, I hope because of my trip this wont all disapeire or that it all just flops and back to were I have been from the start.
Just have to trust and let it all be taken to the Lord.
May sound dumb this blog but right now it is what I am thinking in my heart and in my mind but to me I do thing so. I know with fingers cross that maybe this blog may have a turn around as when I get back there may be more changes.
Changes are good right?